Best bartender jokes driver#
Best bartender jokes free#

I get a cab to return home and when I leave it, I remember I left my wallet and credit cards there. When I left the building to my car, I found out it was stolen.” First, I fall asleep, and I’m late to my office.

Best bartender jokes driver#

The truck driver says, “Come on man, I was just joking. Soon, a big trouble-making truck driver steps next to him, takes the drink from the guy, and just drinks it all down. There’s a guy sitting at a bar, just looking at his drink. Have you lost weight?” He looks around, but there’s no one near.Īgain, a minute later, he hears, “You know, you don’t look a day over 30.” Looks around again, no one but him and the bartender, so he asks, “Did you hear that?” A minute later he hears, “You look great. “And for your other two wishes?” asks the genie.īetween swallows, the lucky guy shouts, “Give me two more just like this one!” Always ask for peanutsĪ man walks into a bar and orders a drink. With each chug, the mug magically refills. “Give me a bottomless mug of beer,” the guy says. “I will grant you three wishes,” intones the genie. He picks it up and rubs it, and a genie emerges. Just then, he spots a lamp lying in the gutter. He looks at the door longingly, but since he has no money, he walks on. Doing it rightĪ broke guy walks past a pub.

Best bartender jokes free#

Free DrinkĪ neutron walks into a bar and asks 'How much for a whisky ?'Īnd the Bartender replies, 'For you, No charge!'Ī blind man walks into a bar. The past, present, and future walk into a bar…It was tense. “I didn’t order my own beer my wife made me promise to give up drinking.” For the sake of it

“My brothers are still alive,” the Irishman says. When the bartender serves him, he says, “I see you didn’t order a beer for one of your brothers. The regulars are concerned, and then saddened when he returns a few nights later and orders only two pints of beer. This goes on for a year, and then one night, the Irishman fails to come in. I left two brothers behind in Ireland, and since we used to meet at the pub every night and have a pint together, I feel closer to them when I come to drink my pint and their two.” The bartender offers to serve them consecutively so they won’t go flat, but the Irishman explains, “I’d rather see them all lined up before me. The next night he returns, and again orders three pints of beer, and then again the next night. He drinks each one in turn and walks out. Smarter than most patronsĪn Irishman walks into a bar in New York City and orders three pints of beer. The bartender says, “Wow, I’ve never served a weasel before. The bartender shakes his head and says, “Y’know, you’re a real jerk when you’re drunk, Superman.” Rhymes come aliveĪ weasel walks into a bar. The guy drives a car and flies it around the rooftop.

The guy replies, 'Well the first shot always tastes like crap, and the last one always makes me sick!” SuperpowersĪ guy goes onto a rooftop bar and is sitting next to a guy who says he’s drinking a magical drink. The bartender asks, 'Why did you do that?'. He then takes the last shot in the row and does the same. The bartender sets him up, and the guy takes the first shot in the row and pours it on the floor. Nothing breaks the ice like a good (or bad) bar joke, and we’ve got a list! To drink or to not drinkĪ man walks into a bar and asks for 10 shots of the bar’s finest single malt scotch.